Take My Bank Card??? lol

I just had a memory today.. About the time a guy asked me for money. And it's not like I'm against lending money to people, especially to a man I have feelings for.

But thats beside the fact...Anyway

This guy asked me for some money. Although this guy just received a huge settlement through such and such..(not going through any details). But he received well over 100,000 that same year. So why the heck are you asking to borrow money from me?? And to make matters worse, he blew through 75% of that money in the matter of months.

Don't ask me how or why? Because I don't know lol. And I'm not sure I want to find out. (getting back to the topic)

Let us explore our options and reasons why he's asking me for money, and why he felt entitled to it (lol little boys, I tell you.. I wouldn't even consider that poor sap a "man")  Reason #:

1. Maybe he is on drugs. 
I've noticed his drastic weight change, his moody behaviors, and weird vibes coming from him. It could be stress also, but can't say.

2. He's trying to run game to see if he can get any money out of me. 
Well I'm no fool. I can tell when someone is trying use the gift of gab on me. So game doesn't work if I don't want any parts of it. 

3. He's the fool and lacks common sense.
Well it would explain him blowing through money on petty things. With NOTHING to show for it. Who blows through all their cash and doesn't have not one thing to show where their cash went to?? Unless drugs were involved, which brings me right back to reason # 1. SMDH

Anyway I can't say for sure why he would. But it sure wasn't attractive and at that moment all I could think about was how to get this poor sap at of my face and house!! 

I told him, I don't keep cash on me (which wasn't a lie). You would think he'd get the hint and take leave.

 No, he then turns around , sighs & blows hot air in my face, and says " alright I'll go to the atm for you and get the money myself". 

UMMM EXCUSE ME?!?!?! LOL!!! 

Ahh does it have stupid written across my head!!

 Like I'm going to trust a man, (whom isn't my bf to begin with and supposedly in a relationship, but felt he was entitled to claim me also, as if I didn't have a choice)  who blew through alot of money in a matter of months and has baby mama drama, with my bank card?? 

So umm how does he wants my "NO" , slow or fast, should I spell it out for him too?

Need I say anymore? That man is trapped in a little boy's mind frame. Very sad.

Question For The Baby Mama

 I wonder time and time again, why does the baby's mother fight for this guy. Doesn't she realize he's not in love? Doesn't she realize he never walked down the isle before kids? Doesn't she realize how much he cheats, and with how many woman? Doesn't she realize she sold herself short?

Why put up with so much bull if you're not getting anything out of it? Why live in denial or try to convince yourself , the situation you're in is enough?

The baby's mother response " Well at least I have him. He isn't going anywhere. We have a child/ren together "

Doesn't she realize he's been going elsewhere? Doesn't she realize how much this guy doesn't care?

Lets be realistic ..if the children wasn't there, would he still be with you? Would he have still purpose to you? Would you have been married to him?

So let me ask you something ..why settle for a man giving so little, who doesn't love you the way you need to be love? But here's the most important question of all...

Why don't you love yourself enough, to not settle?

Scorn Before Dating

If you looked at my title and thought to yourself, "how can one be scorned before dating? Before her first relationship? Before she even has the chance to fall in love with a man who will marry her one day? Is it possible?"

Yes it's possible. I once thought like you. I didn't realize until this year how bitter i was, and somewhat am now. 

They say time heals all wounds. But I say thats Bull. 

Over time some wounds fester into big infection and others even fatal. 

So you see, time can only do so much. But how you use your time can determine whether you'll be healed or unfortunately get a fatal infection.


Back to the topic..

How can one be scorn before dating?

 Well I for one have serious daddy issues. Issues with abandonment. And I never took the time to let my issues heal. Over time I found myself bitter towards men, taking out my anger towards my father out on them.

 Thinking to myself, if my own flesh and blood broke my heart, whos to stop the next man from breaking my heart also.

So you see, until now, I've discovered you can be scorned before you have your first relationship, fall in love with a man, or even something as little as a friendship.

Every woman who has been left or betrayed by their father at an early age can relate to the same heartbreak as I. We all know that hurt will never go away. But how we choose to go about that pain is our own decisions.

Is it truly fair for hurting a man the same way my father hurt me? 

I admit, I did destroy a few potential good relationships with men who sincerely fell for me out of fear of a broken heart. Not realizing I was the true heartbreaker. 

And I know one day Karma will be back to collect as it will w/ my father.
           

What Does Love Do?

As I sit here late at night, thinking about my love life, I wonder if I made all the right choices when it comes to love. Is there any right or wrong choices when love is involved?

But then what about the responsibilities we have to our love ones. Example..I've met a man (or 2, maybe 3...anyhow) that had a family. He was already in a relationship, they both had a child/ren together, but when I asked him about their future together, its always nothing serious. 

His words " O, She is only my baby's mother" ...
My response " So are you two in a relationship? "
His words " Im in a situation and its complicated "

So in other words he kind of danced around the question I asked. He didn't confirm anything with a yes or no.

At this point my red flags go up immediately. I'm no fool, but you can't control who you end up falling for.. the old "head vs heart" is always a killer in love.

And thats where it all begins. Feelings, complicated situations, and unanswered questions. 

*sigh* You have to love "love". It makes for a wonderful drama filled story or great movie. 

People do things out of love and others don't do certain things for love. 

Love can make someone think its the best feeling in the whole world, then turn around and cause the most pain you've ever experienced by losing the one you love.

And for me, well im sitting up...another restless night of sleep because of the men I love, some return my love and well others I wish i never loved.